it still hurts

i saw it the other day

i felt it

(at least for me)

and not because i want you

or want you to belong to me

it is weird,

because i still think of you as family.

(you know how my family is)

(how i don't really have much family)

and i realized that you are not

and never will be.

it is why i still hurt and can never tell you this

ever.

nothing

when there is nothing to say
nothing to look forward to
nothing to rely on
nothing to cherish
nothing to be upset about
and
no feelings to be felt

what happens now?

home

i think im going to nc
be in a place that i call home
nobody follow, nobody come
i need to see the familiar so i don't feel out of place
my heart hurts here
and its not because of you
i want to be in my glass box where no one can hurt me
but not here in your home
there -- in mine.