wanting to scream is this.

i can't believe how worthless i feel. its something that i just can't shake. with everything i do, i feel that i am doing it wrong. every step i take and its in the wrong direction. i will smile and put on the facade of a happy-go-lucky girl but i am burning with a deep resentment within myself. this wasn't supposed to happen! how am i going to change everything that is wrong this time? oh just keep that smile on and remember that it can only get better from here, but that's not true. its not that i am not thankful or not blessed for what i have. i know that i am. i am just upset that life has been like this for as long as it has. wrong decisions on my part and just getting shit handed to me -- this is my life. this rant that is going nowhere but just pouring out of my heart. i feel worthless and its my fault.